The Truth Is…

The truth is, that my life is really broken, and has been for quite some time.

And the truth is, I have been avoiding dealing with the painful reality that is my broken life, again for quite some time.

And the truth is, the ways I have been avoiding that pain aren’t working any more. And, in fact, they might be holding me back. So it’s time to change them.

And change is scary, and painful.

That’s the truth. And that’s where I need to start from.

The truth is, this is NOT fine. I need to change.

This blog will again be on hiatus as I start to make those changes. I will also be taking a break from Primfeed for a while. Don’t worry; I will be back. I will get through this.

A Thousand Vanities

Over the past couple of months, as a way to relax during a stressful time in my life, I have been slowly cleaning through and reorganizing the inventory of what has become my main Second Life avatar, Vanity Fair (I talk a bit about that here). After almost 18 years, Vanity has almost 900 saved outfits, ranging from old system-layers-and-flexiprim ballgowns dating back to 2008, to modern, fully mesh outfits that I bought recently. In fact, the 21st outfit shown below (the Mary white blouse/long black skirt combination by Belle Epoque) I just bought today!

I decided that it was high time to impose some order on the growing chaos of Vanity’s voluminous inventory. So regularly (especially in the evenings after I get home from work), I put on some soothing music, and put myself into a flow state, sorting, organizing, and discarding some older virtual apparel I know I will never ever wear again. It helps me get my mind off all the troubles in the real world (most of which I have zero control over).

The Firestorm viewer I use to run Second Life on my desktop computer at home has a feature that lets you attach an image of your outfit to the outfit folder, and so I have been slowly taking and uploading pictures of all my saved outfits. I have also been sharing them with the people who follow me on Primfeed, in a continuing series I call A Thousand Vanities. I figure that by the time I finally finish (2029? 2030??), I will have reached one thousand saved outfits, hence the title of the series!

Here is a picture gallery of the first twenty-one outfits in the series (please click on each thumbnail to see the image in a larger size):