Horrible, Funny, and Weird Clubhouse Stories: Imposters, Whale Moaners, and More

I had insomnia again last night, and I am feeling depressed again this morning, on a very grey, gloomy, and overcast day here in Winnipeg.

I finally gave up on trying to get more sleep, got out of bed, and lay down on the sofa early this morning with my iPhone, to check out what was happening in the hot, new, drop-in audio chat app, Clubhouse. People, things are starting to get truly weird.

This morning, at 7:00 a.m. CST/1:00 p.m. GMT, I listened to the London Lunch Club, where they were sharing Clubhouse horror stories. There were also some funny and weird ones that were brought up for discussion! Among the tales told:

  • Someone who hung around various Clubhouse rooms pretending to work for Atlantic Records (until someone who DID work for Atlantic Records called him out publicly)
  • Rooms where people would compete on who could make the best orgasm noises (but scroll down, people, it gets weirder…)
  • People who would take their (volunteer) Clubhouse room moderator status to another level, going into complete control freak mode, and attacking the other moderators in the room
  • People (mostly Americans) who come on stage and give their whole autobiography when introducing themselves to the room 😉 “Americans, please… comprehension skills.”

But Ravina Rawal has shared some truly serious Clubhouse weirdness via Twitter:

PSA: There’s a Whale Moan Room on Clubhouse in which everyone just moans (?) like whales (?) for hours. And now this room is in a MASSIVE fight with someone claiming he started the original Whale Moan Room. So now 1000 people are having a moan-off to settle it…

But, wait, it gets even better:

So I put up my hand, got up on stage in the London Lunch Club, and told the audience about the whale moan, cat in heat, and ice cube chewing rooms, and we all just HOWLED with laughter! There were about 60 people present, and it was a cheerful start to my workday (yes, I am “going in to work” today).

P.S. Clubhouse is invite-only and for iOS devices only (no Android version yet). If you are intrigued by all these shenanigans and want to experience Clubhouse for yourself, I still have one (ONE) invitation left to give out. If you want it, please leave a comment on this blogpost, or ping me via the Contact Me page on this blog, thanks!

By the way, the London Lunch Club has a hashtag on Twitter, #TLLCCH, which you can follow if you want (somebody investigated and confirmed my report on the battle of the whale moaners, and tagged Ravina’s tweet which I shared above).

This Winnipegger wants to thank the members of the London Lunch Club for a much-needed dose of hilarity this morning!


SARS-CoV-2 and COVID-19 Update, March 10th, 2020: A Little Winnipeg Humour

Well, pandemic panic shopping has hit Winnipeg…here is a picture of the toilet paper aisle at a local Costco:

However, Winnipeggers are not without their signature sense of humour (we need it because of our long, cold winters). One Salisbury House restaurant in Winnipeg (a popular local chain well known for its “Nips” hamburgers and its claw machine games filled with stuffed animals) has set up the following claw machine:

So, if we do go into lockdown, at least I will be in good company! Winnipeg is well versed in dealing with emergencies such as blizzards; we will cope and we will adapt!

The following animated GIF is available here via Wikimedia (Creative Commons license CC-BY-SA), so please be sure to share it widely! It explains WHY we need to use social distancing, self-isolation, proper hand hygiene, and other tactics to “flatten the curve” of the coronavirus pandemic, in order to avoid overwhelming our healthcare system with a surge of COVID-19 patients who require hospitalization.

Once again, I am going to repeat the following information in an effort to reach as many people as I can who have not yet prepared for a pandemic:

How to Prepare for a Potential Pandemic

Here, once again, is an updated reminder of what you should be doing to prepare: mentally, emotionally, and physically/logistically.

You will probably need to prepare to stay isolated in your homes for a period of several weeks, avoiding contact with as many other people as possible, as a wave of illness caused by the SARS-CoV-2 coronavirus sweeps through your community, forcing schools, businesses, and public transportation and public gathering places like movie theatres and shopping malls to close (as we already seen in Wuhan and many other cities in China, as well as places such as South Korea, Iran, and Italy). The elderly (those over 60) and those with hypertension, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, chronic respiratory disease (e.g. asthma), cancer, and those who have compromised immune systems (e.g. HIV+) are particularly at risk of a severe reaction to the SARS-CoV-2 coronavirus.

The time to prepare for the imposition of quarantines and social distancing policies by local governments is NOW.

If you need lists of how to prepare and what to buy in order to get your household ready for a potential pandemic, here are seven suggestions to help you get started:

You will need to have on hand:

  • AT LEAST two weeks of non-perishable food and other supplies (toilet paper, first aid supplies, soap and hand sanitizer, garbage bags, etc.). There are already reports of panic buying in many places around the world, including North America. You do not want to leave it to the last minute! If you cannot find any hand sanitizer, you can make your own (see the recipe below).
  • Refills of all your presecription medications, plus a stock of over-the-counter medicines (talk to your doctor and pharmacist about creating an emergency supply of your prescription medication).
  • Power sources (flashlights, extra batteries, car chargers and adapters for your mobile devices, etc.). The power probably won’t go out, but it’s better to be prepared than sorry. Water, power, and sewer services are unlikely to go out, but the internet may go down from time to time due to so many more people working from home.

Other things that you should do:

  • Please consider making a donation to your local food bank: the people who will be hardest hit by a coronavirus pandemic are the most vulnerable in our society: the poor, the homeless, people with addictions, women escaping abusive relationships, etc. These people don’t have the luxury of buying two weeks of food as you do, and by donating to food banks, you help support them as well.
  • Sign up for any local alerts from your city, state/province, or federal government (or know where to find the information on the Internet). Find out what plans your employer is making (and if they’re not making them now, they should be).
  • If you haven’t yet, get your seasonal flu shot. It can’t hurt, and it will help to figure out whether or not you do have SARS-CoV-2 if/when you do become sick. Many areas now give out the flu shot for free.
  • Train yourself NOT to touch your eyes, nose, and mouth! The SARS-CoV-2 virus can remain viable on hard surfaces anywhere from 2 hours to 9 days (scientific journal article source), and you can transfer the virus from your infected hands to your mouth, nose, and eyes by touching or rubbing them.
  • Watch the following videos from the World Health Organization and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control on how wash your hands properly! Yes, I know I have posted these videos numerous times before. You may think you already know how to wash your hands properly, but you still might learn something you didn’t know before. Proper hand hygiene will also help you avoid catching regular seasonal colds and influenza, so there’s a net benefit to society.

How to Make Your Own Hand Sanitizer

There have been reports of panic shopping in various countries around the world, including in North America. In particular, hand sanitizer is in short supply, with many stores being sold out of stock. Fortunately, if you cannot find sanitizer to buy, you can make your own. Here’s the recipe:

2/3-cup rubbing alcohol (99% isopropyl alcohol, not 70%)
1/3-cup aloe vera gel (GEL, not liquid)

Directions: Add the alcohol to the aloe vera gel and stir. Using a funnel, pour the mixture into a pump bottle; you can use cleaned soap bottles for instance, or you can find inexpensive pump bottles at dollar stores. If you have empty store-bought hand sanitizer bottles, you can use those.

If you wish, you can add 8-10 drops of essential oils. Lemongrass, eucalyptus, peppermint and orange oils, which have been shown to have some antibacterial properties (source), would be a good choice.

Good Sources of Information on SARS-CoV-2 and COVID-19

Here is my updated list of good, credible, authoritative resources to learn more about the Wuhan coronoavirus (formerly called 2019-nCoV and now officially called SARS-CoV-2; the disease the virus causes is now called COVID-19):

If you want a quick, up-to-date overview of the current situation, here are some good places to check:

Stay informed, get prepared, and stay healthy!

Well, THIS Was Inevitable: “My Corona” (With Apologies to The Knack)

Well, this is inevitable, wasn’t it? (I’ll admit, the bat costume was a cute touch.)

(And yes, this is of questionable taste as people are dying of COVID-19. But sometimes you gotta laugh, or else you’re just gonna stay in bed with the covers pulled over your head because of all the bad news…)