Horrible, Funny, and Weird Clubhouse Stories: Imposters, Whale Moaners, and More

I had insomnia again last night, and I am feeling depressed again this morning, on a very grey, gloomy, and overcast day here in Winnipeg.

I finally gave up on trying to get more sleep, got out of bed, and lay down on the sofa early this morning with my iPhone, to check out what was happening in the hot, new, drop-in audio chat app, Clubhouse. People, things are starting to get truly weird.


This morning, at 7:00 a.m. CST/1:00 p.m. GMT, I listened to the London Lunch Club, where they were sharing Clubhouse horror stories. There were also some funny and weird ones that were brought up for discussion! Among the tales told:

  • Someone who hung around various Clubhouse rooms pretending to work for Atlantic Records (until someone who DID work for Atlantic Records called him out publicly)
  • Rooms where people would compete on who could make the best orgasm noises (but scroll down, people, it gets weirder…)
  • People who would take their (volunteer) Clubhouse room moderator status to another level, going into complete control freak mode, and attacking the other moderators in the room
  • People (mostly Americans) who come on stage and give their whole autobiography when introducing themselves to the room 😉 “Americans, please… comprehension skills.”

But Ravina Rawal has shared some truly serious Clubhouse weirdness via Twitter:

PSA: There’s a Whale Moan Room on Clubhouse in which everyone just moans (?) like whales (?) for hours. And now this room is in a MASSIVE fight with someone claiming he started the original Whale Moan Room. So now 1000 people are having a moan-off to settle it…

But, wait, it gets even better:

So I put up my hand, got up on stage in the London Lunch Club, and told the audience about the whale moan, cat in heat, and ice cube chewing rooms, and we all just HOWLED with laughter! There were about 60 people present, and it was a cheerful start to my workday (yes, I am “going in to work” today).

P.S. Clubhouse is invite-only and for iOS devices only (no Android version yet). If you are intrigued by all these shenanigans and want to experience Clubhouse for yourself, I still have one (ONE) invitation left to give out. If you want it, please leave a comment on this blogpost, or ping me via the Contact Me page on this blog, thanks!

By the way, the London Lunch Club has a hashtag on Twitter, #TLLCCH, which you can follow if you want (somebody investigated and confirmed my report on the battle of the whale moaners, and tagged Ravina’s tweet which I shared above).

This Winnipegger wants to thank the members of the London Lunch Club for a much-needed dose of hilarity this morning!

PHHHHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!!!!

Liked it? Then please consider supporting Ryan Schultz on Patreon! Even as little as US$1 a month unlocks exclusive patron benefits. Thank you!