The truth is, that my life is really broken, and has been for quite some time.
And the truth is, I have been avoiding dealing with the painful reality that is my broken life, again for quite some time.
And the truth is, the ways I have been avoiding that pain aren’t working any more. And, in fact, they might be holding me back. So it’s time to change them.
And change is scary, and painful.
That’s the truth. And that’s where I need to start from.
The truth is, this is NOT fine. I need to change.
This blog will again be on hiatus as I start to make those changes. I will also be taking a break from Primfeed for a while. Don’t worry; I will be back. I will get through this.
I am still working while on half-time sick time for treatment of job burnout, and (as it so happens) we have along weekend up here in Manitoba, since Monday is Louis Riel Day. I should be happy, but unfortunately, I am also nursing a decaying back molar. My regular dentist was able to only do a partial root canal (one nerve) before he encountered complications which he felt were beyond his experience and expertise, and he is referring me to an endodontist’s office. My appointment is in six weeks, but my tooth has still been giving me trouble, and I will have to contact my dentist on Tuesday (after the long weekend) to discuss options.
So at the moment, I am popping extra strength Advil, and focusing on Second Life—which, as I have said before, is my preferred escape from nasty, messy, and (in this instance, literally) painful reality. By the time all this is over, I will have dropped over CA$3,000 on my tooth, so it looks like I will be leaning quite heavily into my expertise as the uncrowned Freebie Fashionista Queen of Second Life! No more SL shopping sprees for the rest of this year for Vanity Fair and her small army of alts; my health has to come first!! (I’m also grateful that I have dental insurance through my employer, which should repay part of the cost afterwards. However, the endodontist’s office wants full payment, up front.)
So, in these current circumstances, yesterday I stumbled across an announcement on the only social media I still use, Primfeed (which is sort of a cross between Twitter and Flickr, but it’s exclusively for Second Life users to post about Second Life):
And, of course, Vanity Fair loves herself a good masquerade ball! As it so happens, one of the things that I have been doing to help me relax and escape my chaotic real life is cleaning through and reorganizing Vanity Fair’s voluminous inventory, focusing on the oldest items. And, in doing so, I discovered this glorious, systems-layers-and-flexiprims Ariel ballgown from Kouse Singh, which I picked up back in 2012. I have thrown out at LOT of my oldest apparel, but there are still a few items that I cannot bear to part with. This Ariel ballgown by Kouse Singh still holds up well, thirteen years later! (I did add a couple of modern mesh touches: a black lace bolero from United Colors; and the Meritus crown, necklace, and earrings from Petrichor.)
However, I still needed to pick out a mask; what’s a masquerade ball without a mask? Raven Faireland used the 1986 David Bowie movie Labyrinthas the inspiration for her masquerade ball (in fact, she had video screens located throughout the impressive ballroom she designed herself, playing the famous masquerade ball scene from that film on a loop). So I didn’t want just any old mask; it had to be something special to fit the theme!
Luckily, last Hallowe’en I picked up a special maze hunt prize from Queenz, this shimmering Luciferix mask. It is completely resizable on any combination of the X, Y, and Z axes, and comes with a HUD to select one of eight mask colours and two metal textures. I picked the black mask with gold metallic accents as shown below:
NOW, I was all set for the ball! I teleported into the beautiful ballroom which Raven Fairelander had created, and I had a wonderful evening! At times there were over 100 avatars in one region, chatting, flirting, and dancing to the DJs’ music stream (there were three DJs that evening). Everyone went all out and over-the-top with their masquerade outfits!
I did take some pictures to share with my friends and followers on Primfeed, but I also wanted to share them here, too. Please click on each thumbnail in the picture gallery below to see the image in full size:
You can see our gracious hostess and ballroom designer, Raven Fairelander, being dipped by her partner in picture 4! You can also catch a coupe of glimpses of me dancing with my champagne in hand. It was also Raven’s birthday celebration, so everybody wished her a happy birthday as well.
I’d like to thank Raven Fairelander for letting me come to her fabulous birthday masquerade ball. (I do need to ask her where she acquired her beautiful blue butterfly mask, which you can also see on a few other partygoers! I had done a right-click/inspect on it, and then I logged out and forgot to save the name of the creator and the store!!!)
Anyways, that’s it for me. I will still post from time to time, as I feel up to it; I am still feeling exhausted and worn out lately, and my root canal situation is not helping. I still haven’t made any firm, final decision about what I want to do with this blog. I will keep you posted.
P.S. For the sake of own mental and emotional health, I have had to avoid all social media (except Primfeed) and all news media (except checking the Globe and Mail newspaper only once per workday, through a newspaper database my university library system subscribes to). Even then, the upsetting, batshit crazy news headlines from the United States—and Canada, too!—still manage to filter through. Right now, I need to focus on myself, my health, and things that I can change in my life, and avoid as much as possible all the batshit craziness going on, since I have zero control over it.
As I joked last week to both my family doctor and my psychiatrist, “I don’t think I have enough Clonazepam to get through four more years of a Trump presidency.” 🤪
UPDATE 1:01 p.m.: I found the blue butterfly Mardi Gras mask! It’s one of the prizes from a new gacha machine at the MeadowWorks booth at the Valentine’s Shop and Hop event, on now until February 18th, 2025. Here’s your taxi! It’s L$60 per pull. I was very lucky and got mine after only four pulls! The mask is no copy, PBR enabled, and resizable via HUD. (Please click on each image below, to see it in full size.)
This morning, at 6:00 a.m., I completed exactly 61 trips around the Sun (this is a correction to my earlier assertion that it was 62 trips; forgive me, I hadn’t had my coffee yet!). I am now 61 years old, and boy, lately I feel it! I am constantly feeling exhausted, and my hips and knees are giving me trouble; I usually take the elevator over the stairs these days.
My birthday always falls in the middle of the absolutely coldest winter weather here in my home city of Winnipeg. And these are the days when I look at the Environment Canada forecast and ask myself: WHY THE HELL DO I LIVE HERE?
It doesn’t help that my relatively new car (less than two years old!) developed two problems related to this bitterly cold weather, requiring a tow truck to drag it to the service centre at my dealership for repairs (and a brand-new car battery). I have missed a doctor’s appointment and a couple of days of work as a result, and I am feeling rather grumpy as a result. Let’s face it; I am now a grumpy old man.
I am still working half-time sick time due to job burnout, juggling requests from instructors for me to come into their classes and teach their students how to use my university library system effectively and efficiently. I still love my job, but I am always feeling tired and worn out lately. I plan to stick it out until I reach 65, though.
I am also still making very good use of my Apple Vision Pro, both at work (where I love the new ultrawide Virtual Display feature when using it with my MacBook Pro; it’s a great productivity boost!), and at home (where I usually use it to watch TV and movies). Zero regrets about buying it. I actively monitor the AVP subreddits to find out about new apps and experiences to download and try out.
And I am still coping with nasty, messy, painful, chaotic real life by escaping into my beloved Second Life on a daily basis, where I can express my creative outlet, amd get into a flow state for an hour or two, designing an avatar look from head to toe.
For example: today, Vanity Fair is in full-blown fairy godmother mode! You each get three wishes… 😉 (please click on each picture in this gallery to see it in full size).
STYLING CREDITS:
Head: LAQ Era2 Elle head (SupremeUHD version)
Body: Maitreya Lara 5.3
Skin: LAQ Susanna SupremeUHD skin with Next Level Maitreya body skin (skin tone 1.5)
Hair: Meadow by MAGIKA Hair (this is an old purchase, I’m not sure they still sell this)
Roses Tiara: part of an old 14,000 members gift outfit from PurpleMoon (the Ninde gown)
Gown AO: Gown AO by Kamilah Hauptmann/Posture Is Everything (I bought this at their in-world store many, many years ago, but it is now on the SL Marketplace here: https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/Gown-AO-boxed/105284 ; this is an AO which you can adjust to accommodate different styles of ballgowns: small, medium and large skirts, bustles, mantua gowns, etc.)
Wand: I picked this up as a free hunt prize many years ago!
Wings: These lovely iridescent dragonfly wings are my favourite, and they are free from the extensive wings section in the Faery Crossing castle.
I’m still going to wait before I make any decisions about whether to pull the plug on this blog. But I might still pop in from time to time if I have something I need to say.
I’ve had a good run, but it’s time for me to close this blog after a little over seven years and three months. It’s time.
Please know that it has been an honour, a joy, and a privilege to write about a subject that I loved: virtual worlds, social VR, and the metaverse, plus virtual and augmented reality in general. This blog has opened many doors for me, and I am truly grateful for the experiences I have had.
Thank you for your comments, suggestions, encouragement, and feedback throughout the years. I have made many friends and acquaintances in many virtual worlds, and I hope that our paths cross again soon, either via the metaverse or in real life.
I will be offline for a while, but I hope to be back soon. I doubt it will be a blog, though. Perhaps something different; I don’t know what yet.
Be well. Keep each other warm in a cold world. I love you all.