Pandemic Diary: September 21st, 2020

I don’t know about you, but I woke up this Monday morning feeling exhausted.

Between the pandemic, Trump, and the Facebookening of Oculus, I am feeling angry, depressed, tired, and frankly despairing of our collective future as a society and our ability to handle the many problems and challenges facing us. I keep telling myself that everything that is happening (particularly with the pandemic) is NOT NORMAL and that it is okay to feel overwhelmed. But it’s still been hard. I’m sure you can relate.

And, predictably, my vow to avoid social media and the news media has already been broken. Last night before going to bed, I indulged in a bit of “doomscrolling” in both Twitter, Reddit, and Google News. Which is, no doubt, one of the reasons I woke up every couple of hours last night, and feel so unrefreshed this morning. (Even a vat of black coffee isn’t helping.)

I should know better. First, I should know that trying to make an all-or-nothing deal with myself usually never works; a better approach would be to slowly taper off my social media and news media reading over time, or (in the case of the news), set aside a schedule of set times of day and predetermined, authoritative news sources to follow at those times (for example, spend no more than 20 minutes every evening reading the Globe and Mail newspaper, or the CBC news website).

And I am trying to be more gentle and forgiving with myself. Although those people and companies who have been on the receiving end of my sarcasm and scorn on this blog over the past three years might not believe it, I do tend to be much harder and more unforgiving with myself that I am with other people.

Aaah, well. Live and learn. I am going to continue to push forward, focusing on things that I can do something about, instead of worrying about those I have absolutely zero control over.

And I marvel at this fact: that without Sansar, and without Facebook/Oculus, I would not be where I am right now. I never would have started this blog, I never would have started up the associated Discord server, I never would have launched the Metaverse Newscast with my producer Andrew, I never would have found an audience, and I never would have made so many online friends who are just as interested in and passionate about social VR, virtual worlds and metaverse as I am! Even given how jaded, bitter, and cynical I feel overall about both Sansar and Facebook/Oculus, the fact remains that I am also grateful to these companies (and the many people who work at them) for the unexpected position I now find myself in. Life is truly strange sometimes, how it all works out.

Some of you have reached out to me personally to thank me for things that I have written here (including my early warnings of a possible pandemic back in January and February of this year). And I want to say, from the bottom of my heart to all of you reading this: thank you for your support, your readership, and your comments, perspective, and feedback on what I write. It means the world to me. (Special shout-out to my fabulous Patreon patrons! I love you guys!!!)

And, even on days when it feels like nothing is working out properly, I know that I can always use this blog to vent a bit, and somehow, it tends to make me feel better. Is blogging therapeutic? Perhaps. It’s a sorely needed creative outlet for me at a time when I am finding it hard to feel creative.

Some days (like today), I use a blogpost to get me rolling, and feeling like I am making a small, discrete achievement, before I dive into my work for the day (and believe me, I have no shortage of it at my full-time paying job with my university library system!). The next six weeks in particular are going to be crazy, but I will get through all this, and hopefully, back to my blistering blogging pace of yesteryear 😉

Cheers! Stay healthy and stay sane in these trying and troubled times.

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